Twas a dark and stormy night, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
And a tapping sounded on my bedroom wall,
"Tap, Tap, Tap."

I looked out the window, and what should I see?
A figure of shadow, beaming with glee.
And to the door I made my way, gliding softly o'er the wooden stairs,
"Creak, Creak, Creak."

Quoth the shadow, "Nevermore."

And high above us earthly folk, the clouds swirled and the snow fell,
The wind blew sharp, and the storm did swell,
And the footprints behind faded, into the white that surrounded us,
"Crunch, Crunch, Crunch."

Quoth the shadow, "Nevermore."

What happens next? Will the author reach his destination alive? Who is this mysterious "shadow"? And what is important enough to cause someone to venture out on the worst night of the year? It all will be revealed, next week on..."

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Good morning ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the celebration of this network's 100th broadcast! It's been a great run over these past few years, sometimes it looked as if the show might not go on, but go on it did! I don't think any of this would have been possible without the help, support, and love from all of our friends, family, and who could forget, God. I don't have time today to thank all of you individually, but I can assure you that if we know who you are, you probably have, in some way, affected the course of this show, so thank you for making all of this possible. It doesn't look as if things will be changing too much for us, but I can tell you, things will continue to move at a steady pace. Thank you, all of you. Now back to our main programming, take it away...

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It's VALENTINE'S DAY, in only TWO DAYS! Don't wait, send a heart to your sweetheart TODAY! Here's what Valentinia's biggest customer had to say about our products. Vic? "I've always had a secret crush on a certain person, and, I finally decided to share it with them just a few hours ago. Let me tell you, it was the best thing that's ever happened to me. The two of us are already starting plans for the wedding. I don't think I could have summoned the courage without the backing of Valentinia's great selection of quality products. It gives..."

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"George...please, don't leave me like..."

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Welcome to today's edition of DEEPER THINKING! In this episode, we plan to dive into the essence of what makes a bedroom, really a bedroom. Some people cling to the dictionary definition, insisting that without a bed, it can't be a bedroom, and if it has a bed, it's a bedroom. But Deeper Thinking challenges that antiquated idea, and will present to you these three points: One, that bedrooms hold more value than simply physical replenishment. They hold sentimental value, so much, in fact, that it defines your bedroom. Two, the sentimental value of a bedroom is not affected by the bed, which could easily be replaced by another piece of furniture, except in special cases. Three, that since the sentimental value of a bedroom is not affected by the bed, and since the sentimental value is what defines a bedroom, therefore, a bedroom can exist even if it does not contain a bed. That's coming up, right after commercials, so give us a call and tell us what you think! Call 1-800-3...

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"And finally, we have an exclusive preview of what the mysterious stranger was REALLY after."



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