Don't you hate it when things don't work. I mean, I was all set for a big explosion, but do you think that happens? Nooo, absolutely nothing happens. Thanks a lot Mr. Rocket-Engine-filled-with-gunpowder-that-looks-like-a-good-time. See if I ever disobey the instruction sheet again. I mean, come on, you'd think if they put a big warning label on the side that says: "Do not burn or incinerate", something interesting would happen if you did. Nooppee. And check this out: "Class 7 2 3 FIREWORK". Wow, talk about looking dangerous. Hah, that's not happening.

Subdivision 3 of Division 2 fireworks comprises model rocket engines (toy propellant devices) containing a propellant the total impulse of which does not exceed 80 Newton-seconds (17.92 pound-seconds) and does not exceed a net propellant weight of 125 grams (approximately four ounces).

A net propellant weight of 125 grams? Wow, I'm feeling crushed already. That blast might even shift a few hairs around. I wouldn't want anything to ruin my finely-tuned hairstyle.

Bitterness...