21 June 2006
Change
It is absolutely incredible how fast things change. 24 hours ago I was sitting here, poring over job applications, cover letters, and resumes. I wanted one specific job very much, and I gave it my best effort. I created glowing descriptions of myself, honest ones, but using phrases that made a simple concept seem like an amazing skill. For example, "able to talk about stuff", became "Expressing concepts and information clearly and concisely, while providing effective and immediate responses, both written and verbal." I really wanted this. The next morning, I apprehensively emailed a letter and resume to my prospective employer. You all know what's coming, don't you? "This position has been filled." It burned. Luckily, I was speaking to a friend of mine who I hadn't talked to in ages, so I got over it quickly, with her help. So, I was happy again, and I sent out another application to a different place, one that I didn't want quite as much, but it still wasn't flipping burgers. However, me being me, I made a mistake. Instead of sending the application from my professional email address, "Keith Brink", I sent it from my normal, casual email account, "Icewolf". Now, consider this. If you were an employer, looking for a person to fill a customer service position, and you received an application from some guy who calls himself "Icewolf", would you hire them? I know that I probably wouldn't. That burned even more once I realized what I had done, and this time, I was alone That was the low point of a very fluctuating day. On one hand, I was disappointed, twice. On the other hand, I finally got to speak with a very good friend of mine. Well, evening rolled around, and my Mom got back from my Oma's place. She said that she had something for me, from Oma. Before I tell you what, understand that I have a debt of about $105 to my Mom for Campfire Bible Camp that I will be attending this August(rather excited about that :)). So, out of her purse, my Mom pulled out a check. I won't tell you the amount, but essentially the entire amount I needed was paid for. In one stroke, I lost my motivation for getting a job. I also felt much better about my previous mistakes, considering that I no longer really needed money. Understand that I rank my friends above most other things, so the only reason I wanted a job was so that I would be able to pay for some social activities this summer. Now, with my current income, I can do everything that I want to do, and remain debt-free. I'm feeling pretty good about this right now. My summer will be free :). Ahh....One of the many high points of the day, certainly.
So, I was speaking to one of my other friends, and she apparently thinks my fiction is good, suprisingly enough :). Thanks friend :). Anyways, I said that I can only write fiction when I'm down, but for now, I'm going to retract that statement and give it a go. Now....What to write :). I hope you don't mind if I write about death or something. I'm not saying that I will, just that I might.
A drop of water splashed onto the small pool of water, rippling and distorting the landscape reflected in the pure surface. A trilling call came from a nearby bird, a sparrow, maybe, as it sang out its song of happiness. The air was filled with the sweet smell of lilacs, and another smell, almost mint, but not quite, floated elusively through the invisible wind. A little girl, no more than seven, gazed at this scene of peace, her feet sinking delightfully into the soft ground, the mud squishing through her toes. The breeze stirred her loose brown hair, tossing it into her innocent blue eyes.
Cut it here. This is going to be one of those choose your own adventures. If you feel like being happy, start reading the next paragraph. If you feel like being sad, skip the first paragraph and continue on to the second one.
She laughed with joy, brushing back her hair. A small droplet of water landed on her nose, quickly trickling down to her left cheek, then dashed away with a vengeful hand. She smiled again, and gathering up her light blue dress, ran through the mud and puddles to a large fallen tree, just large enough for her to sit on. Resting there, she looked up at the sky. A few small clouds scurried about, without a trace of the rainstorm that had so recently vanished. There was rain within the forest, though, leaves freeing themselves of the load they carried. All was fresh, and there was life in the air. The girl breathed it all in, taking joy in all the small plants and insects she saw. Her eyes glowed with excitement at the newness of the old, her cheeks a light shade of red. Some day, she would learn all the science and laws that governed how everything worked. It would become her job, to research and study why plants acted the way they did. But for now, she pleasured in the glory of it all, with no inhibitions or fears or stresses. She was in love with the world, and the world was in love with her.
(warning: Sadness awaits. If that's not what you want, please do not read this.)
The breeze stirred her loose brown hair, tossing it into her innocent blue eyes. She ignored it, instead focusing on the small ant that scurried through the grass. She held out her finger, and the ant obligingly climbed up onto it, and stood still for a moment, considering this new terrain. A second later, it considered nothing. The girl withdrew the hand that had delivered the killing blow, and looked at it with those innocent eyes. "Why don't you move, little ant?" Her lips quavered. "Why doesn't my Mommy move, little ant?" Her speech faltered, her hand dropping to her side, the lifeless ant falling to the ground, sinking into the water. A little tear fell from her eye, quickly tricking down to her left cheek, and it remained there, reflecting the little beams of light that filtered through the trees. A silence pervaded the area, mirroring the awful silence that grew in the girl's heart, growing more terrible each moment that passed. The sun shone brightly, but it was dark. A second tear joined the first, and another, and another, until the girl sobbed with unknown sorrow, crying out against that silence that had first taken her Mommy, and now her heart. She covered her face with her hands, and the tears trickled down onto her delicate fingers, pouring out that grief which cannot be expressed any other way. Those innocent eyes knew nothing put the pain that reached out and choked all the joy around her. There was nothing but the silent unknown.